halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
