So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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