took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
