I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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