I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
