I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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