Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
thus making me awesome and them whores
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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