Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
