Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
