went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
