Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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