oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
