I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
