MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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