Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Reggie can tackle my bush.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
