i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
