Ketchup is God's man juice
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
