Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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