Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Let's get the cat blown out
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
