He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
