Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
