It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
A bitchslap is in order.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
