dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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