i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
