Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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