It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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