Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
