david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
