oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she smelled like a LAN party
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
