plz talk dirty to me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
as a side note pls kill me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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