Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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