My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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