I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
now i know why i became what i already was.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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