just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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