There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
