brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
