sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
