he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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