so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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