Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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