So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Let's paint friendship bongs
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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