Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
