i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you had me at cake vodka
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
