Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
