Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
