he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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