Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize