Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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