i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize