so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
