i can't believe i had my finger in that
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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