Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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