i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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