you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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