I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
