No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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