A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
