so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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