Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Two words: nipple clamps
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