He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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