Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
