dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
