Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize