for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize