she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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