the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
last night I used snow as a chaser
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
