And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
