It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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